GUEST BLOG- Today is a better day

GUEST BLOG- Today is a better day

By Sarah 

After the mayhem the day before

We had a very causal morning. He likes to run around the house naked before he gets dressed, which is currently one of our biggest battles. The heater is on so this morning I didn’t fight it. I ate my breakfast and scrolled through the photos on my phone. 

We ran out to the grocery store for a few things. He wanted a ‘Jacob roll’ (cheese and bacon roll) which is our treat when we do the groceries.
When we came home we just relaxed. I got the slow cooker on and he played in the rumpus room and watched ABC kids.
Mum called to check how he was as yesterday meant we cancelled plans with her today. His Aunty checked to see how he was today.Daddy messaged and called to see how we were.My response was that he is really good. We are just home doing whatever he wants.

He went off to sleep watching his favourite shows on ABC kids while cuddling into me. He has woken and called my name. He cuddles into me again and drifts back to sleep.
I have things that need to happen, washing to hang, fold and iron, roast dinner to prep and place in the oven, washing to come in off the line, the list does go on.
However today I choose to just be. 

I napped with my little man and now I lay by his side until he wakes. 
I choose to slow down and just be with my son. 

We have danced and sung. 

Talked and played. 

Cuddled and laughed. 
Today has been a great day.
I know there are days and will always be days were I feel I fail as a mother. Or that I’m shit! I have yelled and screamed at my innocent little man. I feel such guilt and remorse and promise I will not do it again.

I apologise to him and he always forgives.
I think I need to apologise more often to me, too. I need to forgive me.

Each day is a lesson and it is my job to make sure I learn and remember. 
I love being his mum. I feel it’s why I am here. 

This is what I was meant to be.

GUEST BLOG- Sometimes, mothering is shit …

GUEST BLOG- Sometimes, mothering is shit …

By Sarah 

The silence was deafening.Some offered help.

I didn’t want any.
Melt down doesn’t even come close to what was happening to my son.
The car ride home, short in distance, today felt like a never ending highway.
Once it was over he was still sobbing while asleep in my arms.
Heartbreaking! Disarming! Depleted! 
Am I the shittest mother in the world? 

In my eyes, yes! 

I am his mother, I am the one that is meant to make everything all better. 
He is almost 2 and a half years young. 

Will it ever get easier?
Wonder week,regression, lack of sleep, milestones, stages, illness, teeth, phase, intolerance, allergy, change, growth spurt, mood or just because…
Motherhood, as rewarding as it is can be can be the shittest job in the world sometimes.
I write this thinking about the people who would respond by saying…
You have a healthy child, you should be grateful!Think about all those people who can’t have kids, you should count your blessings.

This is true. 

But for me, today mothering is shit!
Tomorrow is another day and I am grateful for that. 
Let’s just hope we have a better day tomorrow.  

GUEST BLOG- Become a mother!! It’s no big deal right 

GUEST BLOG- Become a mother!! It’s no big deal right 

Become a mother!! It’s no big deal right – like becoming a wife or a teacher. It’s the next exciting phase in one’s life after getting married right. A mother!
Whenever it comes, it is a big change, yet nobody really talks about it. If you do talk about it, you have depression.
Well let’s talk about it, right now!!

Every woman who becomes a mother, no matter how much she loves her kid or wants to be a mother will most likely, at some point, mourn the loss of her previous identity and freedom.
You’re baby is now a few weeks old. Your husband or wife is back at work. The help in the initial weeks has gone. Your dealing with poo, spew, windy baby, crying, lack of sleep – the list goes on. 

 You watch your husband go to work. Friends and family go about their daily lives. And you’re isolated and stuck.
As you watch all go on around you you start to recall moments when you remember getting out, visiting people, going to work, taking time for yourself and socializing. You remember having a glass of wine out with friends or enjoying a date night with your husband or wife.
You were free to do what you wanted when you wanted. 

Now you have become a mother.
You are the one who is going to be this child’s mother for the rest of their lives, day in day out. 

Your husband goes back to work quickly after the baby is born. Yes, he is a father also but his life goes back to the way it was before. He continues to sleep.Your  husband didn’t give birth. His milk bar isn’t open 24/7.

There are moments you think… What have I done? Was I ready to become a mother? Where have I gone? Have I lost my old self? 

Maybe you can frame this by not saying I’ve lost my identity but that I’ve been overhauled or forever changed – the old me is forever gone.
But you are here now with your baby changing nappies, feeding her and being there for her every need all day and night.

 You wouldn’t change it for the world. 

You just need to accept that with time yiu will gets parts of your life back that you enjoy and miss.
Becoming a mother is a blessing!!

Written anonymously by one of the mamas in the Grubbymummyblog community

All the comfort you need sweet babe

All the comfort you need sweet babe


Comfort is something so very undervalued in our interactions with others in today’s society.  

Comfort seems simple.

But it’s not. To provide comfort takes time. It requires connection and and a level of intuition.

Comfort cannot be fake.

Both the comforter and comfortee need to accept the give and take.

My precious first babe taught me just how much comfort one person can need.

He taught me about the beauty and value in surrendering to another’s need for comfort.

He knows that he has all the comfort he wants from me.

I offer my comfort freely.

There are no strings attached.

My arms will always be open to him whether he be happy or sad, afraid or mad.

As a babe, he needed me to comfort him at my breast. Day and night. He found comfort in my arms, on my chest, warm milk flowing as I hummed and sang to him. He slept right next to me from 6 months when I finally accepted his waking for comfort and nursing was a necessity not a problem to be fixed.

As a toddler, he still finds great comfort in me. I remain his safe place.

The time in my arms has greatly reduced as he blossoms and grows and still he returns whenever he needs.

It warms my heart to realise that whatever distress, whatever the disquiet he comes to me. He may still cry. He may still rage. But my arms, my voice my presence brings the comfort. Slowly he calms. Gradually he relaxes. Eventually he finds his peace.

This sweet babe of mine may be small but he knows about love. He knows how it feels to be able to depend on another. He knows that turning to someone when you are feeling bad brings comfort and peace not turning against them in spite.

He will go out into this world knowing and feeling unconditional love.

I may have days that are long. I may feel touched out. I may feel stretched too thin. But I will give that babe all the comfort he needs until my end of days because to bring him comfort brings me home. The look in his eyes when he sees me. The way they communicate the sadness, anger, frustration, hurt, joy, pain and excitement. The moment we connect. It’s just him and me. Our days of breastfeeding are over but the synchrony remains.

It is an honour and privilege to be his mum.