Become a mother!! It’s no big deal right – like becoming a wife or a teacher. It’s the next exciting phase in one’s life after getting married right. A mother!
Whenever it comes, it is a big change, yet nobody really talks about it. If you do talk about it, you have depression.
Well let’s talk about it, right now!!
Every woman who becomes a mother, no matter how much she loves her kid or wants to be a mother will most likely, at some point, mourn the loss of her previous identity and freedom.
You’re baby is now a few weeks old. Your husband or wife is back at work. The help in the initial weeks has gone. Your dealing with poo, spew, windy baby, crying, lack of sleep – the list goes on.
You watch your husband go to work. Friends and family go about their daily lives. And you’re isolated and stuck.
As you watch all go on around you you start to recall moments when you remember getting out, visiting people, going to work, taking time for yourself and socializing. You remember having a glass of wine out with friends or enjoying a date night with your husband or wife.
You were free to do what you wanted when you wanted.
Now you have become a mother.
You are the one who is going to be this child’s mother for the rest of their lives, day in day out.
Your husband goes back to work quickly after the baby is born. Yes, he is a father also but his life goes back to the way it was before. He continues to sleep.Your husband didn’t give birth. His milk bar isn’t open 24/7.
Maybe you can frame this by not saying I’ve lost my identity but that I’ve been overhauled or forever changed – the old me is forever gone.
But you are here now with your baby changing nappies, feeding her and being there for her every need all day and night.
You wouldn’t change it for the world.
You just need to accept that with time yiu will gets parts of your life back that you enjoy and miss.
Becoming a mother is a blessing!!
Written anonymously by one of the mamas in the Grubbymummyblog community